Screenshot above is from someone's Instagram stories, telling people to report my video on YouTube back in January.
You know, after writing my last two posts I almost feel like I don't need to write any more about this. The bitterness and resentment...it's slipping away. I didn't know how writing and releasing my story into the world would have such a massive effect on me.
When I was little my mom taught me to write by having me write letters to my grandparents and other relatives (I was homeschooled). As I grew older I continued the practice of letter-writing. It was how I expressed my feelings when I didn't have the courage to speak out loud. A few letters I wrote marked pivotal turning points in my life. I wouldn't be where I am today without them. I suppose this telling of my story has been a letter of sorts. Thank you for reading it.
I have one more thing I wish to write about regarding the knitting episode, and then I think I will be done for now. The story isn't over, but it's starting to fade in my mind and become less and less a central part of my everyday thoughts. The mind has a wonderful way of forgetting the bad after some time and remembering only the good.
A week or so after the knitting community cast me out I remember making a trip into town to get some groceries. It felt surreal. For days I had been receiving hundreds of negative emails and comments. I had been accused of so many terrible things, and my mind and emotions were completely wrapped up in all the words hurled at me. I felt like the most hated person in the world. But at my local grocery store, I was a nobody. Gosh, did it feel good! In the sea of people I was just another person walking around collecting food for my dinner. I picked the shortest line at checkout and stood there looking down the rows of cashiers and customers. They were all of different colors, different backgrounds. My cashier was Vietnamese. I had seen her many different times. She didn't know that the knitters thought I was a racist. It didn't matter. All that mattered in that moment is that we smiled at each other and talked a bit about the weather as she rang up my items. I walked out through the doors, passing all sorts of people. I didn't know their stories, how much money they had or didn't have, where they were from, or their political or religious beliefs. None of that mattered. Everyone comes to the grocery store. We all need food.
Here are a couple examples of the sort of emails I had been receiving:
Dear White Supremicist,
And this one:
These are screenshots collected by someone who sent them to me in case I ever needed them.
Yes, this is where they took it. I did some research and learned that in 1936 Nazi Germany hosted the Olympics. Guinness was a sponsor. They created pro-Nazi posters to use during the games, but they never actually made it to print. Perhaps they learned some things about the Nazis and decided against it. I'm sure they weren't the only ones. Now we have history to show us how evil Nazism was. In 1936 no one could see into the future. When WWII started, Guinness was a supporter of the Allied Forces, supplying thirsty troops with free and delicious beer.
Also, they are trying to put words in my mouth. I never said that “opposition to systemic racism is not a conversation but a one-sided belief”. I did talk about a "one-sided belief" (I meant to say "ideology", but couldn't think of the word at the time), but never said anything about racism in my video. I didn't even say the social justice issue they claimed to be fighting for was a bad issue to fight. Racism is of course a good thing to condemn. However, I do think it is wrong to start going after small businesses, in the name of anti-racism, for innocent things like writing about one's excitement to travel to India. But their far-fetched and laughable interpretation of my Guinness comment and their intentional misrepresentation of a woman reclaiming a Hindu symbol just shows how low they are willing to go to find supposed racism. It also shows, in the case of the Hindu woman, that they will even use a brown-skinned woman’s desire to reclaim a culturally appropriated symbol against her if it serves their purpose.
You cannot reason with these bullies and trolls.